imvume

Iyintoni imvume kwimisebenzi?

Kwenzeka ntoni njengoko ubusuku buqhubela phambili kwaye mhlawumbi okanye abathathu abantu bahlala bebi kakhulu ngokusela? Xa izibhengezo ziphantsi kwaye zifuna ukudibanisa, ingakanani umntu angaya kuyo? Uthi 'cha' kuthetha 'mhlawumbi'? Yimiphi imithetho yomdlalo? Uthando luphendukela nini kwisini? Ngubani ogqibayo?

Imvume kunye noTywala

Ndenze udliwanondlebe nomfazi oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala onesimo sengqondo esisezantsi esityebileyo nesithathe inxaxheba kwiiklasi zokuvuma kunye nobufazi. Siza kumbiza ngokuba nguJan. Uye wandiqinisekisa ukuba "uyayazi imida yakhe" ngotywala. Xa ebuzwa ukuba wayethetha ukuthini ngala nto, waphendula wathi, "Andisoze ndinxile ndigqithe". Uthe nangona kunjalo "ulayishe kwangaphambili" ngaphambi kokuba aphume aye kuzonwabisa ngeempelaveki kwaye ebengazikhuselanga, esenza isondo nomntu ongathandani naye. Wavuma ukuba ngekhe abelane ngesondo naba bafana ukuba ebenganxilanga. Kwaye ngekhe avume kuhlobo lwesini, kubandakanya isondo elirhabaxa elimpundu, ababehlala befuna njalo. Ukanti wathi ngekhe amgwebe umntu 'ngokumkhuthaza' ukuba abelane ngesondo kwezi meko kuba wayesela kwaye wayevuselelekile ngokwesondo. Engqondweni yakhe wathi kufanele ukuba ebenika imvume nokuba uyazisola ngengomso.

Kumntu omdala, 'ukuqonda imida' kunye notywala kunokuthetha ukulahlekelwa ngumlawuli wokukwazi ukuvuma ngokukhululeka. Ukwahlukana okunjalo kokutolika kwenza ingxaki yokuvuma i-juries kwizilingo zokudlwengula. Ndambuza uJan isizathu sokuba athathe umngcipheko wokukhulelwa okanye ukusuleleka ngesondo ngokungasebenzisi i-contraceptive. Waphendula ukuba uyise uya kuba nomsindo xa efumanisa ukuba intombazana yakhe yalala ngesondo. Wathi xa wayekhulelwe, wayeza kukhishwa isisu, unina wayemncedisa. Ngoko naphezu kweentetho esikolweni kule ngxaki, ngokwenza ukwesaba kwakhe malunga nendlela abazali bakhe abaya kuphendula ngayo kwaye uxinzelelo lwabaontanga ukuba baphuze kakhulu kwaye banandipha 'ngobusuku obubaluleke ngaphezu kokulinganisela kwakhe kweengozi zempilo kuye. Leyo yinjongo yengqondo yobutsha.

Nangona kuyisicala sokuba nesondo sangasese ngaphandle kwemvume, abasetyhini bahlala bekhalaza ukuba baqhutyelwe kuyo. Research Ibonisa ukuba 'ukuqiniswa' okuqinileyo ukuba babelane ngesondo ezimpundu yinto eqhelekileyo namhlanje kubantu abancinci abaneminyaka eyi-16-18. Amadoda nabafazi abancinci bakhankanya i-intanethi njengeyona nto iphambili ekhuthazayo. Nangona besazi ukuba “kubuhlungu kakhulu kubafazi”, abafana abancinci basatyhale kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukuba 'bacenge' abasetyhini ukuba babayeke bayenze. Nkqu nabafana babonakala bengonwabanga ngokwabo. Oku I-interview ye-10 yengxoxo yomsindo kunye nomphengululi okhokelayo ucacisa ngakumbi malunga neziphumo zabo. Mnye kuphela umfazi ovumileyo ukuba uyayonwabela. Kwabafana abancinci, i-kudos yokufumana "amaphiko ansundu" inokuba yinjongo eyomeleleyo.

Ukuzithiba kuyinselele kubo bobabini abasetyhini kunye namadoda kumaxesha amaninzi, kodwa ngokukodwa kwimicimbi yeqela phakathi kwentsha. Ngaphandle kokuba isicwangciso sokumisela imida sele sigqitywe ngokugqithiseleyo kwangaphambili, kunokuba nzima ukuthintela ukunyaniseka xa isondo soxhatshazo lweentlobano kunye nelokuba sifuna ukubonakala ngathi sithandana kwaye sipholile.

Nangona kunjalo imfundo enxulumene nefuthe lotywala ngokuvuma kunye nendlela yokubambezeleka ngayo xa kubhekiswe ukunyanzelisa kuyimfuneko. Ukufundisa 'izakhono zokuthandana' kunye nendlela yokuhlonipha imida yomnye umntu kuya kuba yinto ehamba phambili. Uphando oluthile lweengqondo zabantu abatsha luye lwafuna le ndlela yemfundo.

Esi sikhokelo esiqhelekileyo kumthetho kwaye asiyilungiselelo lomthetho.

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